Chapter Thirteen

I watch as Jordan gathers a few of the guys to leave. He walks away with a wave and a general "nice to meet you" to the crowd. I don't know why, but I was expecting a personal goodbye. I was starting to feel like my sitting on Danny's lap was making him uncomfortable so I moved to my own chair. As I'm watching them walk away, Danny puts his hand on the back of my neck and starts combing his fingers through my hair. I smile at him and look into the fire.


A few minutes later, Anne comes back over to the fire and touches my arm lightly on her way past. She sits across from us, where she was sitting before. This time she's watching me though instead of Kris. First she was with Geno, then Kris, then I watched her follow Jordan to Danny's house, and then she was making out with Kris again. I glare at her through the flames and she smiles at me.

Danny gives my hair a playful tug and I look at him.

"Easy killer," he teases.

"She keeps staring at you," I turn my gaze to him. "She's been doing it all night. Well, in between her attempts to lure an unsuspecting Penguin into her web."

He laughs.

"You find that funny?" I don't find it funny.

"You just called her a spider." He's still laughing. I'm still not.

"She's a good girl," he tells me and I squint my eyes at him. He leans in close so his face is next to mine.


“She doesn’t want me back,” he whispers in my ear. “Even if she did, she doesn’t stand a chance.”

He kisses my cheek and sits back in his chair.

After everybody is gone from the party and we’ve cleaned up a bit, I walk back to my house with Ben and Rachel. They’re spending the night so Ben doesn’t have to drive.

Rachel and I go to my room and Ben goes to the guest room. They aren’t comfortable sharing a bed in our parents’ house. I often tease them about whether or not they will when they’re married.

We settle on my bed with Lucky down by our feet. I can feel Rachel looking at me, willing me to open my eyes but I keep them closed. I don’t want to talk about anything. Everything is good with Danny right now, has been for at least a couple days. And I certainly don’t want to talk about Jordan Staal or how good he smells. Ugh.

My eyes open at the thought of Jordan. This is Rachel’s cue.

“Oh good, you’re awake. I thought it was crazy how fast you fell asleep.”

“Still drunk,” I ask her.

“Surprisingly not,” she laughs.

Neither of us says anything else so I close my eyes again.

“So Jordan, huh,” she says like she’s reading my mind. My betraying, stupid little mind.

“What about him?” I open my eyes again but don’t look at her.

“I don’t know. There were looks passing between you two all night.”

“No there were not,” I say defiantly.

“Ah-ha. Defensive,” she laughs.

“Don’t be stupid,” I say and look at her finally. She just smiles. “Danny told me he loves me,” I make it sound like a question but I didn’t mean to.

“Of course he loves you,” she rolls her eyes. “You’ve been in each other’s lives forever. The three of us are bonded forever because of Ben anyway. Might as well all love each other.” She sort of trails off at the end.

“Do you think that’s all this is,” I ask. “Me and Danny, I mean. Are we just too lazy to find somebody else to date?”

She sits up and turns to me.

“Is that what it is for you,” she asks. “Are you with him because it’s easy?”

“Ha! Nothing about my relationship with Danny is easy. He has these mood swings. Sometimes he’s so quiet when I go over that I just end up leaving and I don’t even think he notices. When I dare ask him if everything is okay, he gets upset with me.”

I sit up and face her. Now we’re in the center of my bed, cross-legged, facing each other. She takes my hands in hers.

“What,” I try to take the seriousness out of the air, “are we having a séance?”

“Does Ben know he’s been acting funny?” She has that maternal look she gets with me sometimes.

“I don’t know that he’s acting funny,” I stress the word funny because it sounds wrong. “This is how he’s been the whole time we’ve been… dating. I guess. It’s hard to call it dating when we never go anywhere.”

“Why haven’t you said anything, Carly?”

“Said anything about what exactly? That my boyfriend gets moody,” I say with a wave my hand. “Everybody gets moody. Can we talk about this in the morning? It’s been kind of a long day.”

She bites the side of her mouth and shifts her eyes away from me.

“You’re right. I’m tired too,” she says and lies down.

I lay my head on my pillow, sure that I’ll fall asleep quickly. But I don’t. My mind is racing around all over the place. Danny, Anne, Rachel, Ben and all their sudden secrets. It’s obvious something is being kept from me and I don’t know why.

“Rachel,” I say softly. If she is asleep, I don’t want to wake her.

“Yeah, I’m still awake.”

“What is everybody keeping from me?”

When she doesn’t reply quickly enough, I continue. “There’s something going on that nobody is telling me about and I can’t figure out why. I’ve been trying to ignore it since the hospital but I can’t. I went to talk to Claudia the other day…”

“You talked to Claudia?” She sits up again. “What did she say?”

“Nothing. Just like everybody else,” I sigh. “I didn’t know Danny before. I mean, like, really know him. He was just there…” I don’t know what else to say because I’m an idiot.

“We have to go wake up Ben,” she says and stands. So I stand and we go to the guest room… formerly known as Ben’s room, with Lucky close behind.

“Ben,” Rachel says softly as she pushes the door open.

“mmm… good dream,” he says. Then she pushes the door open the whole way. Ben opens his eyes and lifts his head to see me and Lucky with Rachel. “No. No. Bad dream. Bad dream,” he whines and lays his head back down.

Rachel sits on the bed and Lucky jumps up to lick Ben’s face.

“What the fuck, Rach,” Ben asks as he sits up. He leans against the headboard and looks at me. “What?”

“Carly needs to talk about Danny,” Rachel tells him.

“Hunh-uh,” I correct her, “you need to talk about Danny. I need to hear about him.”

“I thought this was all over,” Ben starts with a sigh. “The problems, I mean. I would have told you if I thought it was going to happen again. Sit,” he says. Lucky and I both sit.

“Back when we were still in high school, Danny hurt his back training. The doctor prescribed some mild painkillers but they didn’t help. He ended up asking around and got some stronger stuff. The pain eventually went away and he stopped taking the pills. This is when he was dating Anne, by the way. She knew all about it. I did too but we were the only ones that knew for a while. About the stronger stuff, I mean. Everything was fine for a while. Or at least I thought so…”

He pauses and looks around the room. He gets up and walks over to get a bottle of water he left on the dresser. I’m glad to see he’s wearing shorts. He takes a drink and sits back down.

“A while later, I can’t remember now if it was weeks or months, he got really shitty. His attitude was horrible. His attention span sucked and he stopped working out. He’d still hit the bags but nothing beyond that. I thought maybe he was still in pain or in pain again. Anne dumped him and he stopped calling me to hang out.”

He stops talking again and looks at me like he wants me to say something. But I’m just running my hand down Lucky’s back absent-mindedly. I don’t know what to say so I just wait for him to continue.

“One day, Mitch went to his house and found him on the bathroom floor.”

“Like I did,” I ask. It comes out in a whisper.

Ben nods. “Like you did. He ended up in rehab. You must remember not seeing him for about a month the summer after graduation?” I nod and he continues. “Well, he was in rehab then. He got out and he seemed fine. He was good for a couple years. He’s always gotten upset when he loses a fight so it took a while for us to pick up on his using again. He doesn’t lose often though... or not as often as his attitude would seem to indicate at the time. Anne started coming around again and he seemed to get better. He spent a lot of time with her when he wasn’t training. We started spending less time together. Not because he was an asshole or anything but because of work and school. I moved away and couldn’t look in on him as often. Anne was busy with school so she couldn’t be around him all the time. She called me one time swearing that he had stopped showering and had done nothing except stay in bed watching television. She told him to shape up or she was done… again. They fought a little bit, yelling at each other and she tried to leave. But he didn’t want her to so he blocked her path to the doorway. When she got around him, he grabbed her wrist. It took a minute for him to realize he was actually hurting her. She convinced him to get help again.”

He stops to take a drink.

“So he’s been to rehab twice and I didn’t know about either time?” I ask in disbelief. “I mean, how stupid am I?”

“What are you talking about, how stupid are you?” Rachel says. “We should have told you. Somebody should have told you by now,” I see a tear fall from her eye, gleaming in the moonlit room. “I thought it would all go away. He’s so much smarter now. He knows what happens. Or I thought he was smarter,” she looks at Ben.

“I thought so too,” Ben assures her. “Obviously, Carly, if I thought this would haunt him for the rest of his life… if I didn’t think he was different somehow, like he could beat addiction, I… I don’t have any excuses. I should have told you the second I realized he hadn’t.”

“He should have told me,” I say. I will not let my brother take blame for not telling me. “It’s not your story to tell. It’s his. He should have told me. Maybe that's why Anne...”

"Well yeah," Ben interrupts, "he should have told you but he didn't."

"She talked to Claudia," Rachel adds and Ben looks surprised.

"What did she say," he asks me.

"Nothing." I throw my hands up. "Nobody fucking told me any fucking thing." I start to stomp out of the room and my parents' bedroom light comes on. "Oh just fucking wonderful," I huff and sit back down on the bed.

"What's going on," my father asks and turns on the light. He squints at us.

My mother comes into the room and plops down on the bed. "You guys are crazy," she says. "Aren't you all still drunk?"

"Surprisingly no," Rachel says trying to smile.

"I told her about Danny," Ben tells them.

I jump up off the bed.

"Are you all fucking kidding me right now? My parents knew. My brother knew. My friend knew. And nobody thinks to tell me?"

I storm out of the room and down the stairs. Lucky and I go out to his fence.

"We don't like to upset you," my mother says from behind me.

I lower my head and sigh. This is always what they say.

"You guys always do this," I say through tears. "You shield me from everything. I'm not a baby." Then I start laughing. "Yet you let me date a drug addict."

"Well," she shakes her head, "we don't call him an addict. He's had some issues in the past and he's dealt with them."

"And then he has the same issues again, mom. That's a drug addict."

"What is he supposed to do when he's in pain?" She asks, still shaking her head.

"We all drink with him!" I just can't believe what I'm learning tonight.

"Oh Caroline, his drinking is not the problem," she says like she's the most naive person in the world.

I just look at her for a moment, mouth agape.

"We didn't want to burden you with this," she starts.

"Burden..." I interrupt. "Mom, even if I wasn't dating Danny, you guys should have told me this." I throw my head back and look up at the sky. "You should have told me years ago."

She doesn't say anything.

"Years, mom." I'm crying now. "I find him facedown in vomit and still nobody tells me?"

Rachel, Ben and my dad come outside. Ben runs over and wraps his arms around me. My face is in his neck and I'm sobbing. I'm crying for Danny, for these problems he has that I've ignored. For the danger he puts himself in by not being careful. For the pain he must be in to take the pills. I'm crying because nobody told me. Nobody told me to watch for signs. Nobody told me to beware of shifts in mood. Nobody told me to monitor his drinking. Nobody told me my boyfriend, who I've known all my life is a drug addict.

But mostly I'm crying because I shouldn't have had to be told. I'm crying because I should have known.

_______________________________

I've been laying in bed for two hours. Tossing and turning. I can't sleep and it's frustrating. It's unusual for me.

I try jerking off but that doesn't even help. It just makes me have to get up and wash my hands. So I find a movie to watch. Some Adam Sandler comedy that isn't funny. Or maybe I'm just not in the mood to watch a movie. I'm in the mood to sleep.

I can't sleep though because every time I close my eyes, I see her like she's tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. I see her laughing. I see her looking at me through the fire, flames dancing in her eyes. I see her dancing, hips swaying. I see her eyes the first time I saw her face, not quite crying but definitely upset. Maybe it was in that moment that I made the decision to save her. The problem is, she doesn't look like she needs to be saved and she for sure doesn't look like she wants to be.

Chapter Twelve

Danny and I have finally finished walking around so I could make sure to say ‘hi’ to everybody. He piggybacks me over to where Ben and a bunch of other guys are making a pit for a fire. Before we get there, I realize I haven’t been introduced to a few of the Penguins yet. It looks like everybody who plans on staying a little while longer is up by the fire.

“There she is,” I hear Tyler Kennedy yell.

Danny kneels a little so I can get down just as some of the guys turn to me. My heart starts fluttering as I am being approached by Craig Adams himself.

“I finally meet the birthday girl,” he smiles and holds out his hand. I stand there for a second, debating on whether or not it would be weird to bow to him.

“I love you,” is what I squeak at him.

Danny spits out a mouthful of beer and laughs.

“She does,” he says. “I just thought she was cooler than that.” Then he shakes the hand Craig is still holding out.

“I’m so sorry,” is all I can think of to say.

“That’s okay,” Marc-Andre Fleury says with a wave of his hand, “it happens to him all the time.”

That makes the other guys laugh. Then he reaches his hand out to me. “Marc-Andre,” he introduces himself as if.

“Carly,” I say and shake his hand without incident. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. I have honestly witnessed something similar happen to him before. Don’t let the guys kid you,” he says with a wink.

I turn back to Craig.

“I am so sorry,” I say in what I am relieved is my real voice. “There’s all this stuff that I have always said I would say to you if I ever got to meet you.”

“Like what?” He asks with another smile.

“I don’t mean to be an idiot,” I tell him, “but I can’t remember any of it right now.”

I have a tight grip on Danny’s hand. He’s just standing there looking at me with a look I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him give me before.

“Could you all excuse us again,” Danny says as he’s scooping me up into his arms.

“What are you doing,” I squeal. “Don’t be rude! Put me down.”

“I just need five minutes,” he tells me as he’s walking towards his house. “I have to change my clothes.”

“Well you don’t need me for that,” I laugh at him.

“I need you for something else,” he says and kicks the door open.

He tosses me onto the bed, kicks the door closed and pulls my leggings and panties off in seemingly one motion.

“Lock the door,” I remind him.

He locks the door and kicks off his swim trunks. He puts his hands under my arms and lifts me off the bed and I wrap my legs around him. He presses my back against the wall and reaches one hand between my legs. He surveys the area a bit with his finger to make sure I’m wet enough. We make eye contact as I groan. He removes his finger, kisses me and rams his dick into me. It’s not all of him but I think it’s the most I’ve ever taken that quickly. It makes me scream. Thankfully his mouth is still covering mine or somebody might have heard. He’s fucking me slowly. He’s so deep and the look in his eyes is piercing through me so much that I already feel like I’m going to cum. He’s panting hard and he’s moving a little quicker so I can tell he’s almost done too.

“I love you,” he says still looking into my eyes and we cum together.

He backs us away from the wall and sits on the bed. My legs are still around his waist and we’re still kissing. I am pressed against him so tightly that I can feel every pulse in his body. I’m ready to go again and I can tell he’s getting there quickly. Then he puts his hands on my waist and lifts me off of him.

“We have to get out of here,” he laughs.

I nod, grab my leggings and go to the bathroom to wash up. He follows behind me with a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. When we finish washing and getting dressed, he stands behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. I put my hands on his wrists and lean into him. He kisses my cheek and steps out of the bathroom.

I pull the sides of my hair back and grab one of his sweatshirts on our way out the door. Then we walk back out to the crowd of people by the now complete fire pit. We take seats beside Ben and Rachel. Jordan’s eyes follow me the whole way to the seat. He’s still looking at me as he’s throwing wood into the pit.

I can't tell if he thinks I don't notice him staring at me or if he wants me to make eye contact. So I turn my head in his direction and look directly into his eyes. He turns away to grab more wood. The same instant Jordan's turning away, Danny jumps up out of his seat and startles me. He laughs and kisses me on top of my head. Then he jogs over to where a couple of the guys are bringing up chairs to put around the fire.

Rachel and Ben turn to me simultaneously and raise their eyebrows. It's moments like that where you can appreciate how long they've been together. How much they are alike. How in tune they are. How much they love each other. I smile at them and giggle a little as Ben is leaning in closer to me. I push his face away with my hand and laugh.

"Shut up," I whisper to them. "I was fixing my hair and grabbing a sweatshirt."

"Mmmm hmmm," Rachel says, "good thing too cause it's getting chilly." She knows I know she doesn't believe me and neither does Ben.

"Why is Jordan staring at you so much," Ben asks out the side of his mouth.

"I've been wondering that myself. He probably thinks I'm a crazy person," I laugh, hoping he'll just let it go. I don't want to talk about Jordan. Of course, I don't want to talk about what Danny just said to me during sex either.

Rachel lets out a very loud "Ha!" and slaps her hand over her mouth.

"I drank so much, I almost forgot about that," she says, leaning across Ben's lap to talk to me.

"There's nothing to remember," I shrug. "I made an ass out of myself and now he thinks I'm nuts."

Rachel rolls her eyes and sits back up.

"He saw her dancing," she tells Ben.

"Ha!" Now it's Ben's turn to laugh obnoxiously. "No wonder you were so bent out of shape about the curtsey."

"Curtsey?" Rachel asks, turning to face me again.

"You guys," I whine and then laugh at myself.

Craig Adams approaches us and I stop breathing. He turns Danny's chair so it's facing me and sits down.

"Tell me why I make you nervous," he suggests.

"This isn't helping," I tell him, pointing to the chair and then to him.

"I'm just teasing," he says and laughs.

"I figured as much." I still can't look directly at him so I take a peek at him out of the corner of my eye and he laughs again.

Danny comes back over with a stack of chairs and sets them down behind us. I stand so he can take my seat. He does and pulls me onto his lap. Then he starts talking to Craig Adams like he's known him all his life.

"She goes on and on about how nobody ever has to worry about what you're doing," Danny's telling him. "'He kills penalties, eats clock, and every once in a while he'll bang one in just for the hell of it.' She loves you, man. You're her favorite kind of player."

Craig is listening to him and smiling at me.

"Thank you," he says and touches my knee. "It's nice to hear that kind of thing. I wasn't fishing for it. I was just teasing you because..."

"Because he's hammered," Matt Cooke yells from a few seats over.

"Don't even get me started on how she talks about you," Danny calls over to him.

Then Matt Cooke comes over to us and pulls a chair off the stack.

"Good or bad?" He asks and leans back in his chair, crossing his ankles.

"Good," Danny laughs. "Always good."

"Even when he takes really stupid penalties," Craig asks and Danny nods.

The evening goes on that way for a while. Danny telling each of the Penguins what I say about them. Me sitting on his lap, finally over the embarrassments of earlier.

And Jordan watching me from across the fire.


______________________________________


She obviously just got done fucking her boyfriend and now she keeps looking at me. I’m sitting across the fire, talking to TK and Tanger, and we’re all watching Cookie and Ads making asses out of themselves. Carrying on with Danny like he’s their long lost best friend.

It’s finally quieted down and some people are leaving. Most of the people from the tents are gone already. Max wondered away with that girl, Tara again. We have to wait for him before we can leave. Tanger is driving me completely insane over a girl I don't know. I turn my head to him and give him a dirty look. He crooks his mouth and turns back to TK. I'm starting to feel like I need to get out of here before I do something stupid.

I stand up to walk over to the pool house to use the bathroom.

"Where are you going," TK asks me.

"To take a piss," I answer him with an eye roll.

I walk into the "house" and into the bathroom. There's makeup and perfume on the sink that I have to assume is Carly's. I pick up the perfume and smell it. It smells like her. Like oranges and flowers.

When I open the bathroom door, Letang's arm ornament is standing there.

"Hi Anne," I say, trying to sound casual. Like there's always somebody sneaking around behind closed doors.

"I keep noticing you looking at Carly," she says it like she's accusing me of something.

I shrug, still trying to be casual. "She's pretty."

"You have to get her away from Danny." She says it so fast like she's on a secret spy mission.

"What? Why would I have to do that?" I need to get out of here. I try to walk around her to get to the door but she steps in front of me.

"She's not going to be able to handle him," she says matter of factly.

“Alright,” I throw my hands up. “Obviously I need some details. But first, why do I have to get her away from him?”

“Because she’s interested in you and you are interested in her.” She sits on the bed and looks up at me. “And he’s going to need to be by himself for a little while.”

She looks sad so I sit beside her.

“Will he hurt her?” I have to know.

I’m going to kill Mario for thinking this was a good idea. If we would have just waited until the summer, his house would have been done and I wouldn’t be here getting mixed up in other people’s crazy.

“No.” She shakes her head. “Well, I don’t think so. He bruised my wrist once but he felt so bad about it…”

“Bruised your… Wait.” I feel like I need an hour to talk to this girl but I don’t want to listen to her right now. “Wait,” I say again and stand. “We’re not talking here. Not now.”

“But you’ll help her?” And now she looks scared.

Who is this guy? She’s acting like he’s a werewolf.

“I feel like you’re overreacting,” I tell her. Maybe she’s just drunk.

“Maybe I am a little,” she half smiles. “I just don’t want to see her get mixed up in one of his messes. They’re tough to climb out of.”

“If this guy is some kind of monster, why wouldn’t her brother tell her?”

She shrugs. “I’ve had the same question. He’s been protecting Carly all his life. I’m not sure why he won’t now. I have no idea why they’re keeping his drug use from her.”

“Listen,” I grab her hand and start walking to the door, “I’m going home in a week. There’s nothing I can do from Ontario.”

“Do you have to?” She walks to the door with me.

“Maybe you’re the best person to talk to her,” I point out to her.

“Who wants to hear this stuff from an ex-girlfriend?” She half smiles again.

“Drugs?” I sigh heavily.

“Yeah,” she confirms. “Not all the time. Usually just after fights. There was one time a couple years ago,” she hesitates. “The pain… you know?”

“I really don’t understand why this is being kept from her,” I say angrily.

“Nobody feels it’s their place,” she says when we’re almost back to the fire.

We take our seats beside Tanger, across from Danny and Carly, both of us carefully not looking at them.

When I see Max and Tara, I punch Tanger in the leg and stand. We gather Geno, who for the last hour has been trying to play guitar, and Max to say our goodbyes. Tara and Anne walk to the car with us.

Anne grabs Kris' cellphone and puts her number in. Then she holds out her phone to me.

"Put your number in," she shoves the phone at me and I take it. "Thank you. I'll call you, okay."

"Yeah, yeah," I am resigned to being turned into a hero or whatever. "I'll do what I can."

She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek and turns to Kris. Me and Geno slink into the car while Max and Kris make out with their new girls.

"Hey," Geno says, kicking the back of my seat, "fucking Letang took my girl."

"That happens a lot," I say with a laugh.

Then I lean my head against the seat and let all the air out of my lungs.

Chapter Eleven

I throw the ball for Lucky and he turns to run after it, bumping into Ben.

"Watch out, Ben. You're in his way," I say, laughing.

"Everything is in his way," he laughs and comes over to stand by me.

"So it seems you've made some new friends," he hints.

"It seems I have," I smile at him. "They're really nice. Well, the ones I've met anyway. We're invited to a party at Max's."

"You and Danny," he asks, throwing the ball for Lucky.

"Yeah. Well, I assume you and Rach too," then it occurs to me that I don't know if the offer extended to them. "I guess I shouldn't assume though, huh?"

"Probably not. It'd be nice to go. I might be able to use some of the connections. Plus, like you said, they're really nice."

"I'll ask when we get back," I tell him with a smile. It occurs to me that this is the perfect opportunity to bring up Anne.

"Tell me about Anne and Danny," I request, not knowing if I'll get an answer.

Ben takes a deep breath and puffs his cheeks out as he exhales.

"I don't know, Carly," he says shaking his head. "It was a touchy situation."

"Ben, I'm your sister. If there is something about my boyfriend, your best friend that I should know, don't you think you should tell me?"

He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again. I wait him out, standing in front of him, hands on hips.

"Carly, I..." It's clear he doesn't know what to say and he's making me really nervous. "Yes. Yes, I do think I should tell you." Then he closes his eyes and lowers his head.

"Well?" I prod, fighting back tears.

He raises his head to look at me.

"I promised I wouldn't," he says and looks down again.

I spin around and walk into the house. Ben and Lucky follow me to my room. I sit on the bed to take off my boots and then I throw them one at a time into my closet.

"Carly, I want to tell you," he says like wanting to tell me is as good as actually telling me.

"Then fucking tell me, Ben!"

The yelling sets the tears free and now I'm crying. I roll my eyes and walk to my closet to find my black flats. I'll have to stand on a chair to talk to Jordan in flats. I'm not sure why that thought pops into my head in the middle of all this, so I try to shake it out.

Ben sits down on my bed as I shove my feet into my flats.

"I can't, Carly," he says softly. "I can tell you that there is nothing between Anne and Danny."

"She kept staring at him. I know it sounds jealous and ridiculous,” I try to explain, “but it just seemed like she was looking for something in his eyes or something.”

Ben doesn’t say anything so I give up. I don’t want to pry it out of him. If I asked him to keep a secret, I would expect that he wouldn’t tell anybody.

“Okay,” I sigh and walk out of my bedroom.

“I’m sorry, Carly,” Ben says sincerely.

“I know. Let’s go,” I smile at him and pat my leg for Lucky and he’s at my side in an instant.

We leave Lucky in his fence and ride the quad back to Danny’s. We’re barely out of the driveway before Max and Tara approach us.

“Hi,” Tara says cheerfully. “We were sent looking for you.”

“Oh yeah,” Ben asks curiously. “Who sent you?”

“Danny,” Max answers. “He has his hands full with your girl,” he laughs. “Plus he wanted to make sure you could get a game in before it gets too dark.”

We walk through the yard back to the Baggo game. The crowd around the game boards has grown quite a bit. As we get closer, I see that the crowd is most of the Penguins roster. Engelland and Jordan are still playing and it looks like their opponents are Danny and Geno. I don’t see Kris anywhere in the vicinity. Rachel is telling a story to a few of the guys that apparently requires her to punch Pascal Dupuis in the chest animatedly with both fists. They’re all laughing.

“Partner swap?” I ask when we get closer.

“Wooo!” Rachel turns to us and throws her arms around Ben. “You’re back. What took so long? Is Lucky okay?”

“He’s fine,” Ben puts his arms around her and kisses her forehead.

“Your partner is back,” Geno tells Danny. Danny winks at me and I smile easily.

He stretches his arm toward me and I walk to him. He notices how short I am as he puts his arm around me.

“Now you’re back to normal height,” he says and kisses the top of my head.

I stand there with my arms around Danny and my eyes are drawn to Jordan. I thought I could feel him looking at me and he is. I smile at him and he looks back to the game.

I decide I should go mingle before everybody starts leaving so I ask Danny if he wants to come with me when he finishes this game.

“Of course, yeah,” he answers with a smile.

I hear something and turn to see Kris and Anne coming out of the woods. They’re holding hands and smiling at each other. She sees me watching them and covers her face with her free hand, embarrassed. I sigh with relief and smile at her. The others catch sight of them and start commenting.

Deryk makes three bags and the game is over. Danny glares at him mockingly and then laughs.

“We’re going to mingle,” he tells him. “But you and me? We’re going to have to have a one on one match one of these days.”

Deryk laughs. “Absolutely. I want to get in that gym of yours too. We got all summer.”

I stand there, watching them talking to each other like old friends, and see Jordan watching them too. He has a smile on his face. We make eye contact and this time he smiles at me instead of looking away. I give him a little wave as Danny and I walk towards the tents.

___________________________________


After she walks away, I make my way over to Engelland.

“What’s going on,” I ask him. “It seems like you’ve known this guy for years.”

Deryk shrugs… of course.

“He’s a cool guy,” he says dismissively.

“Yeah, well he looks like a loose cannon to me.” I’m not saying it to be childish; the guy really looks like it would be really uncool to see him lose it.

Deryk looks me up and down and back up again. He stops his gaze at my eyes and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m not just saying that,” I tell him.

“Okay, man,” he says and turns his attention back to the game. “Who’s up?”

Sid and Flower step up to play what will probably be the last game of the night. I want to switch partners so I can stand on the same side with Engelland. I don’t want to tell anybody else what’s going on though, so I let it go. Sid is standing beside me. I know that means he’s going to read me the way Letang does. I just hope Sid doesn’t read too much into it too.

He doesn’t say anything to me through the game but he keeps looking at me sideways. As soon as the game is over… which Sid and Flower won, of course; Sid steps in front of me.

“What’s up, man?” Just because he’s the captain of the team, he thinks everything is his business.

I just sigh and throw up my hands.

“Nothing. Why?” I sidestep him to grab a beer.

He’s a good guy. I don’t mean to sound bitter about everything being his business. He cares about us and always wants to help.

“You look weird,” he says.

“Well, I’ve been drinking for several hours.” Like he’s never seen me drinking before.

“Yeah,” he probes, “but you’re drinking slow.”

I shrug and take a big gulp of the beer I just opened.

“I was just slowing down to play the game. I’ll drink more now, if you’d like.” I smile and take another big gulp.

He nods, knowing I’m not going to talk about it.

“Okay,” he says and claps the back of my shoulder. “I’ll be around,” he knows I know that’s an invitation to open up to him. The problem is that everybody is making this into a big deal and it just isn’t.

I walk over to Kris, who now has an arm ornament in the shape of the girl that was Geno’s partner, and ask him if he wants to go down to the tables. The ornament girl comes with us.

“Can we not talk about that thing anymore?” I ask him. “It just isn’t really a big deal.”

He nods and parks his girl at a table with some of the WAGs. Then he asks her to wait for him there. She nods and turns to the table. Vero immediately introduces herself as Kris and I are stepping away.

“Anne used to date him,” Kris tells me quietly.

“I don’t know who Anne is, but I assume it’s that girl,” I reply looking in her direction. “Why were you talking about him with her?”

“She brought it up, man,” he says and takes a drink from his bottle. “She thought we were friends with him and that’s why we’re here.”

His eyes get all shifty, darting from her to me back to her again.

“I’ve been dying to talk to you but I didn’t want her to get any thoughts,” he tells me as he’s wiping his hands on his shorts. “Keep walking. Pretend we’re getting something from the car.”

We walk to the car, Kris checking behind us every few steps.

“What the fuck’s going on, man?” I’m getting impatient because he’s making me nervous. “Did he abuse her or something?”

He shakes his head. “Like she would have told me if he did?” He pauses before continuing and shakes his head again. “No, I don’t think so. He has some problems though. Bad ones. I’ll tell you later.”

“So is this something we should step away from? Pretend we never met them,” I ask because we tend to distance ourselves from a lot of people we meet. We have to be careful of what we get mixed up in.

He exhales heavily and puts on his thinking face.

“I don’t think I can,” he resigns. “I like the guy. I like all these people,” he says and sweeps his arm across the yard. Then we start walking back to the festivities.

“What the hell, Tanger,” I sigh. “I thought you were getting your dick sucked not learning somebody’s life story.”

“Funny how it always happens that way for me,” he laughs. “I did get sucked off though,” he says with a sly grin.

“That’s your game,” I joke. “Don’t lie.”

Carly’s brother and his drunk girlfriend walk over to us.

“Up for a bonfire,” Ben asks us and Rachel lets out another “woo”.

Yep. I like these people too.